MDS: So Tired

Today fatigue has set in. Too much weekend? Or, a reaction to Vidaza? Who knows.

My mother used to chide me when I was a kid. She'd say, "You're tired, but if your friends came by and wanted you to play baseball, suddenly you'd have lots of energy."

'Fraid to say, she was right.

So, if my friends came by right now and wanted me to play golf or go skiing, would I suddenly have lots of energy?

Probably.

Still, it's hard to judge what's happening, especially day-to-day. And, when you're tired, it's difficult to be upbeat.

Yesterday, entering Dr. Onco's office building to begin the second round of Vidaza shots, I paused. "Am I really going to be doing this—showing up here seven days a week every month—for 10 or 20 years?" I wondered.

"You should only be so lucky," I responded to myself.

Feeling sorry for myself? No, not really.

Feeling intimidated? A bit.

Mostly, however, feeling tired. It all seems so uphill.

"You won't be doing this for 20 years," said my spouse when I told her what I'd been thinking. "By then there'll be other medicines and treatments."

So, too, say Dr. Onco and Dr. MDS. New meds are just over the horizon.

I choose to believe the docs. And, I choose to believe I'll be around to use the meds.

I just hope I don't sleep through the whole thing.