Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Riding the Medical Diagnosis Roller Coaster

Medical diagnoses can be a roller coaster ride.

This diagnosis has migrated from a belly ache to a stomach virus to possible liver, spleen or appendix problems to something called ITP and, finally, MDS.

Each pronouncement brings relief, resolve and a twinge of terror.

First reaction: Aha—at least we know what the problem is.

Second reaction? Or, maybe not.

In hospital, sitting for five hours with an IV-drip in my arm, I'm confident that I'll be free of this situation in a day or two.

When the blood count doesn't rise, despondency rifles through in spurts.

Discharge from the hospital brings a pinprick of hope, despite still low blood counts.

Three straight days of low-count blood tests suck me into disconsolateness.

An energetic Sunday followed by a rising blood count Monday put a bounce in my step.

A no-count, low-count Thursday has me sinking like someone's clip-blocked me in the back of the knees.

"But, I feel good," says I.

"It's the steroids," replies the doc. "We need the chromosome report from the bone marrow biopsy."

Out she goes. She's back in less than five minutes with some papers. "Yes," she says as if she's Sherlock Holmes and has the final clue, "it's MDS."

The drive home with that news brings the full emotional spectrum.
  • Incredulity.
  • Anger.
  • Despair.
  • Ironic gallows humor.
  • Dread.
  • Hope.
  • Confusion.
  • Denial.
And, of course the ultimate response: oh shit.

2 comments:

  1. Do they provide barf bags for this roller coaster ride??

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm afraid nothing is provided except pills, pills, shots, and more pills.

    ReplyDelete