Wednesday, September 16, 2009

MDS: A Gender Bender

Aha! An anomaly has been discovered in the FISH report. At the top it says:
  • Name: Mitchell Kaplan
  • Age: 61
  • Sex: F
"Sex—F"!?!

Well, it's true that my parents probably always wanted me to be a girl, since they already had a boy running around the house. But, really—after 61 years you'd think someone would've noticed my gender.

I'd like to believe that this throws doubt on the veracity of all the genetics testing. I mean, if they can't tell from the Y chromosome situation that I'm male, what kind of attention is being paid?

Of course, I realize it's just a clerical error, but I find no reason to be rational about this. Cling to any straw, I say. Make them do a do-over. At their own expense. Go to the video replay and charge them with a timeout. Toss these genetic analysts outta the game!

"You were in the wrong high school gym class," my brother says. "You'll have to go back and do it over."

Now there's something that just might be more horrible than having MDS.

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