On the Emotional Roller Coaster

I could always handle roller coasters. If I had to.

What I couldn’t handle was merry-go-rounds. Or anything that travels in circles.

So, I’m trying to understand why I’m having so much trouble handling the MDS roller coaster. One day you’re up. Next day you’re down. And it’s not clear what triggers the reaction.

Yesterday morning, as I bustled through rush hour traffic to be needled by Dr. O (she has no office hours on Wednesdays, so only we special guys get to see her; but, we’ve gotta show up early), an acute depression attack set in.

That lasted about 10 minutes.

During my needling session, I was chipper and happy.

Driving home, I again lapsed into solemnity. But, over lunch I was fine. Then, post-naptime, I backslid into grouchy morosity.

As might readily be imagined, this emotional circus confused and angered me. Get a grip, I told myself. Then, I said, "Ah, what the fu–-" and went to watch old football films on the NFL network. (This fiber-optic TV is great for distracting one’s self. Or, for wasting time. Depends on your interpretation.)

So, today I hope to divert the coaster off-track with golf. If the weatherman cooperates (sinister dude that he is).

Meanwhile, perhaps I should somehow mechanize patent this emotional roller coaster, and sell it to Six Flags as their next thrill ride.

No, wait. Six Flags just declared Chapter 11. They’re probably on an emotional roller coaster of their own. Never mind.